“They’re filming a movie down the street from my house,” Julie said, as if sharing a precious secret.

“Hurry up! Someone said James Marsden is going to be here.”

Only problem: it was 7pm on a school night and I was seventeen years old without my own car. This would call for some serious begging and the art of persuasion.

I hung up the phone and put on my best “I-need-this-or-else-I’ll-die” performance for my parents. It was a movie. A REAL movie, actually filming in Boca Raton, Florida where absolutely nothing ever films-- and it was down the street from Julie’s house. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I had, had, HAD to go.

Luckily, my parents are “cool parents” and gave me the go-ahead. However, they’re also responsible parents, and as I grabbed my dad’s car keys— after appropriately dressing and primping for this jackpot opportunity— my mom called, “Just make sure you’re home by ten, Victoria. It is a school night.”

I waved her off and cooly responded, “Oh yeah, unless of course they ask me to be IN the movie, then I might be late.” She had a good chuckle at my naivety and shook her head, as I walked on with full intention of getting cast in this film.

After arriving at Julie’s, we called our friends, Brad & Alex, with the same covert-but-urgent energy,

“You have to come NOW. It’s a real movie. AND JAMES MARSDEN IS COMING. Hurry!”

We walked down the street with Julie’s mom and sister, as well as other people in the neighborhood, eager to check out the scenery. We took in truckloads of equipment and crew bustling about. Someone told us we were allowed to watch from the back of the house (apparently, they were filming an outdoor scene), just as long as we didn’t cross over the yellow police tape.

It was pure magic.

My eyes couldn’t see everything fast enough. College-aged “teenagers” were in the pool, on a trampoline, dancing with solo cups, and jumping off the roof. There were cameras and people running around handing out (hopefully, fake) drinks. Huge lights. Loud music. Someone actually yelled “ACTION!” It was a real movie. And I was finally there.

As Alex struggled desperately to find James Marsden, I struggled equally as hard to get up in front of the caution tape so I could be “discovered” by one of those people with the earbuds in their ears.

After all, if you have an earbud and a walkie-talkie, you must have the power to cast me in this film. I’m pretty sure that’s how it works.

Then. It happened.

“What about the girl in the yellow and the girl in the green?” the ear-budded lady whispered to the walkie-clad man.

I quickly fact-checked my wardrobe (yup, I’m yellow), then looked over at Alex (GREEN!) and elbowed her and demanded: “SMILE AND LAUGH. NOW.”

“What?” she said. “Smile and laugh!! They just talked about the girl in yellow and the girl in green… THAT’S US.” And before Alex could question me one last time, Earbuds and Walkie were walking our way.

“Would you two girls like to be in this movie?” Earbuds asked.

I wanted to scream. My entire life was about to change. All my dreams were coming true. So I very calmly responded, “Yeah, that’d be cool.” Then Walkie lifted the yellow tape…

and that’s how I became the next Meryl Streep.

Or at least, I was a little closer.

We were escorted inside, into a room filled with a bunch of 18 to 20-somethings sitting around on the floor, when someone handed me the paperwork:

UNTITLED TEEN ROAD MOVIE.

Sounded perfectly harmless; definitely looked legit.

It was all fine-and-dandy until I read: “Signature of Parent or Guardian”. Crap. I was seventeen and I needed my mommy. Determined, I called her up and was immediately met with, “I hope you’re calling because you’re on your way home. It’s almost ten.”

“Actually. I’m calling because I need you to come here. They asked Alex and I to be in the movie and I need your signature.”

“Very funny, Victoria. C’mon, you need to come home.” -- CLICK.

So I redialed, but this time, brought in reinforcements, “Mrs. Baxter!!” Alex shouted. “She is serious! We’re in this movie!! And she can’t do it without a parent signature! It’s not a prank!”

After my mom’s signature sealed the deal, we were whisked away to “Props” where we were given a blue solo cup, filled with a mixture of Red Bull and other mystery, but non-alcoholic, ingredients.

Then, we were placed. On set. We were on set of a movie, with James Marsden (still nowhere to be found). An actual, real movie.

Eventually, Alex and I were squished into a hallway with other party-goers and were instructed to have a conversation, but not make any actual noise. A sound guy and light guy were setting up in the bathroom of the doorway I was standing in, so I knew we had to be close to the real actors. It was only a matter of time until we saw James Marsden. I looked around and spotted a few other kids from my school (also out on a school night). Then, the director (assumed) brought out three actors— two of which, I was very familiar with.

“It’s the guy from GREEK! And that’s that girl from She’s the Man— you know, with Amanda Bynes?! We’re one person away from AMANDA BYNES.”

It was My Favorite Show and My Favorite Movie standing right in front of me, and we were about to be in a scene with them …and some other guy I didn’t know.

Now, I’ve yet to get married, but I have heard that your wedding is so incredibly magical and perfect that it all becomes a bit of a blur if you’re not paying close enough attention to the details. That was “Untitled Teen Road Movie”. I don’t remember much else about the actual being on set, except for these few moments:

There was a point when Clark Duke (“that-guy-from-GREEK”) asked me if I wanted to hang out after we wrapped for the night, which I politely declined— it was a school night, after all.
Amanda Crew (“one-person-from-Amanda-Bynes”) whispered to the director how she was going to actually kiss Josh Zuckerman (“some-other-guy-I-didn’t-know”) in the next take as a joke. I felt like I was in on this great secret. Sure enough, as she leaned in to flirtatiously deliver her lines to Josh, she planted a big kiss on him and he immediately froze. The whole crew was in stitches and the director called “cut” between his laughter. It just was me and my pals, playing a good, old-fashioned joke on our boy, Joshy.
At one point— and I honestly couldn’t even tell you how this happened— my mom, Alex, Julie, and I were chatting it up with Charlie McDermott, another actor in the film. Charlie was my age, but a few years ahead of me in “our industry", so I asked him everything about getting an agent, how he auditioned for the movie, what a headshot was— everything I could think of to ask. He even friended me on Facebook, so I could ask him more questions later on. I remember thinking that once I “made it” as an actor, I was going to be that nice to the extras too. Thanks Charlie, wherever you are.
And James Marsden never showed up. Someone lied.

The next day I could. not. freakin’. wait.

I was going to tell anyone who asked (and didn’t ask) that last night, I was in a REAL MOVIE. My trigonometry teacher asked me to pick my head up off the desk, to which I apologized for being so tired but, “I was an actor in a movie last night, and was working pretty late.”

Later on I went to youth group and burst into my youth pastor’s office to proudly announce that I was “partying college girl” in “Untitled Teen Road Movie”— but assured him I only had Red Bull in my solo cup. Hello, I’m no sinner.

It felt like years of searching the Internet to try and find anything I could about the magical film set I was on. What was its title going to be? When was it going to be in theaters? DID JAMES MARSDEN EVER SHOW UP!?

Until one day, I had answers.

“It’s called WHAT?!” My mom asked.

Although she very clearly heard my words, at this point, the question was just for dramatic effect. “Bobby! Do you hear this?! Victoria… tell your father what you just told me.”

“The movie is called ‘Sex Drive’.”

“What movie?” Dad said, though this question was genuine confusion.

“That movie I was in. It’s called Sex Drive and it’s Rated R.”

A shake of the head. A half-hearted laugh of disbelief. And a hand over the mouth. All signs of “what-did-we-let-our-daughter-do” came over my parents.

“Just wait until you tell this to your youth pastor.” A statement to which my little sister chimed in with her chuckles.

After spending the next couple weeks trying to explain to my youth pastor and other friends that I was not, in fact, mistakenly cast in a porno, I found the release date and awaited my big break.

When the day came, my aforementioned responsible parents, first went to the theaters to vet Sex Drive before allowing their impressionable teen see an R-rated film. Also aforementioned, these “cool parents” gave me the thumbs up to see the film. They absolutely had reluctant smiles on their faces, but it was coupled with the disbelief that I actually made it into the movie. They couldn’t not let me go.

After all, I am now Meryl Streep.

The Girl in the Yellow and the Girl in the Green made their way into their cushy theater seats with a huge tub of overpriced, greasy popcorn. I could hardly stand it. My heart was racing. I had always dreamed of the day I’d be on the silver screen— it was HAPPENING.

Cut to the party scene. Wide shot. A sea of teens underage drinking at a sick high school party. We screamed quietly when we saw ourselves (and Brad) dancing by the pool with our solo cups in the crowd. Cut to indoors. Medium tracking shot. Taking in more teens—that classmate of mine from Trig class— and more teenage-party montage.

Cut to: Victoria and Alex in a hallway, fake-talking.
WAIT. VICTORIA AND ALEX?!

For the smallest of seconds we were in the frame, up close and personal, and we nearly fell out of our seats. (The popcorn, however, didn’t make it.) We squealed so loud the people in front of us turned around as we pointed at our gigantic faces, along with Amanda Crew and Josh Zuckerman.

My heart leapt. My stomach flipped. And I was immediately hooked. I knew I could be a film actor. I had to be a film actor.

It was those 3-seconds on that screen that proved to me that I could.

Fast-forward to my freshman year of college in 2008. I was sitting in the front-row of Speech class (naturally), when the kid next to me leaned over and said, “Hey, this is going to sound really weird, but were you… by any chance… in a movie called Sex Drive? My roommate and I were watching it last night and I told him I was pretty sure that was the girl I sat next to in speech class.”

It was me.
Because I am Meryl Streep.

(Though I’m still pretty annoyed I never got to meet James Marsden.)

Youth Group, Sex Drive, and James Marsden